i.have.a.new.friend

I have a new friend in my life, a person whose face I vaguely remember seeing around church when I was young, but who has emerged again after a long 15 years, for a cup of coffee and a long chitchat at Coffee Club. Strange as it seems, someone whom I had never talked to during those formative childhood years, would make for good conversation now. (Actually, on second thoughts, perhaps it isn't THAT surprising, afterall, he would have been 14-15 when I was 5, and 19-20 when I was 10.) But for a 20-something to talk to a 30-something, the age gap seems to have lessened by leaps and bounds. Sure, the topics are perhaps not what I would normally engage in discussion with in the company of like-minded peers, but the valuable experience, open-mindedness, and maturity that comes with age provide a different perspective on life, that is refreshing in its very essence. Harshly realistic, and to a point, sometimes even scheming, it is quite amazing that someone could actually live life with such lucidity and rationality, while being able to enjoy the finer things in life, like GOOD FOOD for example. heh. For the most part, I was just willing to listen, and he, willing to impart. Of course, the other perks of hanging out with a single 30-something is that he pays, and he drives. It pleased me to find that he was actually more engaging in person than in the written form (his written being of atrocious spelling and horrendous grammer, with uncalled for acronyms peppering his jerky sentences to boot), so it was actually quite pleasant to discover that he speaks proper english, and is not an ah beng. Judging by his small frame (darn!) and young-ish dressing however, it is highly likely that one would be inclined to dismiss him, at first glance, as just another young punk with too much time to spare on his hands... hahaha... Just as a gauge of how well we hit it off, I've got myself an invitation to go Japan with free lodging (his sister stays in Tokyo) and a willing tourguide (he speaks Japanese having lived there for 2 years previously!) All I have to cough up now is that 600 buckeroos for the air ticket and some spending money as well... Ahh the cherry blossoms are in bloom until May he said. I'm definitely tempted by the prospect of going to Japan. I've ALWAYS wanted to go, but it had always seemed to expensive... Sejima my love! Harajuku! Natural hot springs! Cherry blossoms! *rubs hands in glee* How about postponing our little Cambodia+Vietnam trip mingming? (Kidding ok kidding... don't scream at me now hrh) And in case you guys out there are wondering if I'd gotten a little bonkers in the head, and foolishly laid my fragile heart out on the pedestal to be shattered into a million tiny pieces, NO I HAVE NOT. I haven't found a potential lover, just a person who might in time become a good friend. :)

Ok! 4 down, 1 to go... I think I'll sleep well tonight. Happy jan. As I said (in my post that eeriely disappeared on me) things are beginning to look up. Up, up and away! To infinity and beyond I say.

when.things.lose.their.clarity

If you asked me what I came into this world to do, I will tell you:
I came to live out loud.

EMILE ZOLA

[as seen on the very last page of the P. Enrollment Guide 2005-06, OIA]

WTH? Jessica Sierra is out from AI? And the lousy Fatty-killed-Brian-Mcknight's-song Scott, Hit-only-the-big-notes Anwar, Clay-wannabe-undergoing-image-overhaul Anthony, typical-R&B Nikko, and I-think-I'm-so-hamsome-poutpoutpout Constantine are STILL IN?!? Life's really unfair.

eh?!?

eh...
where did my yesterday's post go to?
my post about my non-stop nose tap dripping?
my post about how tomorrow will be a better flu-less day?
my post about things looking up and how I love rainbows?

IT'S GONE! *bawl*

Anyway, today IS really a better flu-less day... apparently my supply of nose fluids have been depleted, albeit leaving the skin of my nose rubbed raw and reddish.

It's been a happy day so far

+ couldn't sleep at all last night so I spent the 7 hours in bed tossing and turning in the darkness, haunted by the words of (I kid you not) Quando, quando, quando, my fav song of the moment. It seems I was subconsciously asking whenwhenwhen will I get to fall asleep? and apparently the Adesso ('Now' in italian) was not to be forthcoming at all...

+ finally decided to get out of bed around 7am, AFTER countless trips to the loo during the night to occupy myself, ('waking up' is a misnomer since I technically did not sleep), had a quick shower, and dragged myself to the gym

+ hunks galore! I counted at least 5 of them... all muskles and cutie faces... *swoon*Seriously! Big biceps! Now at least I will have a greater motivation to get my lazy ass to the gym early on Wednesday mornings! muahahahaha

+ expensive and unyummy lunch at caltex house (I still blame you cc!) but all was redeemed with the first bite of SUPER yummy yami honeydew-flavoured yoghurt with mixed nuts... mmmmmm I'm in heaven!

Let's hope the rest of the day continues to amble along just as well as it was started! As a sidenote, Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey SHOULD be renamed to Chunky Hunky! More chunks of hunks anyone? :)

mission.accomplished

Shopping is indeed a therapeutic experience. Thanks yoowie for a wonderful late afternoon/evening/night out filled with cd-hunting, sushi, lemony, coffee club, tummyaches, and hilarious stimulating conversations! Will really miss you when you+I leave. *hugs*

Just.did.it.

I think I did pretty okay over the public holiday. Didn't complain much even while cooped up in office the entire day doing work that wasn't really meant to be mine while friends went to have a ball of a time at the SFF. SATC rules indeed but it really isn't the life for me. Didn't feel too sorry for myself, didn't feel angry, didn't really feel life was unfair, didn't feel excessively miserable although I was pretty much alone. I just followed Nike's mantra all the way and just did it. (Work that is...)

Granted, I did manage to steal away from the office over the week and find time to

A. Rush home and catch AI and The Amazing Race on Wednesday although I missed Carrie Underwood's fantastic performance... (Thank God Mikalah the singing nanny is out! Finally! Her whiny nasal voice was really starting to get to me)

B. Re-read Murakami's Norwegian Wood for the upteenth time, holed up in my room and indulging in my own depressions (Booze, free sex, student revolutions, and above all, adolescent love)

C. Catch Stephane Pompougnac at Zouk on Thursday which was actually rather a happy night if the music had been a tad less disappointing towards the end. Oh, and did I forget to mention ming the smart who gave her REAL no when picked up by some ugly guys? (Small talk with too many acquaintances, memories about lost innocence and friendships, sub-conscious consciousness about the importance of appearances tainted the night for me, I felt as if I had been transported back to the hall era of sprouting superficial niceties)

D. Meet up with Kerms and Jon for supper at Newton on Good Friday... yummilicious stingray! Again I am reminded of how friendship is a gift no matter how unworthy one feels sometimes.


What I didn't find time to do though, was to hit the gym. I need some new inspiration, some new drive, new goals, new direction, fitness or otherwise. I need to get out there and start meeting new people. I need to get my hands on some new shopping purchases. I need to read some new books. All of a sudden it seems as if people have all gotten on with their lives but here I am still stuck in a rut, hampered by my own inertia. I need to remember that the world does not revolve around me. Life shouldn't be this sad. :)

colours.of.the.rainbow

yawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawn
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RED and YELLOW and GREEN and PINK
PURPLE and ORANGE and BLUE...
I can sing a rainbow
Sing a rainbow
Sing a rainbow too

at.least.i.know.i'm.female

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

rejection.is.never.nice

2 down, 3 more to go.
1 acceptance, 1 rejection.

Rejection is never nice no matter how much one tries to brace up for it, no matter how all the signs point to the fact that one is overreaching and overestimating one's abilities.
Rejection is even worse when another's success is rubbed into your face.
I know it wasn't meant to be that way, and I sure am happy for her. Congratulations Sy! :)
It's just that rejection takes time to get over.

I knew it the minute I sent out the application- I had a bad feeling about it.
I knew it when I found out about sy- I had a sinking feeling in my heart.
I knew it when I saw the small slim envelope- it couldn't contain any more.
I knew it when I read the letter- the paper felt cold to the touch.

I guess it was better tried than to have shrunk back in fear and lived in regret all one's life.
At least this way, I can remain accountable to myself, and hold my head up with pride.
Rejection ought to make one a stronger person but strangely, why do I not feel any stronger?
Afterall, I must HAVE experienced it about a million times before...
It was just never meant to be, but I must learn to count my blessings.
*breathe in deeply*
2 down, 3 more to go.
Acceptance doesn't mean any more than rejection does... Without money, all the acceptances in the world would amount to nothing. Yet New York still beckons...

Brace yourself and be strong jan! Keep believing in yourself! Stand tall! Wear a smile! Hug a friend! Say a prayer! Drink some caffeine! Pop some pills! Get some sleep!

I think I just need some chocolate... insane stuff coming out from my head right now... any chocolate will do for now, I'm not picky. But why do I feel as if I might actually need a Godiva feast at the end of it all? Gosh the waiting is killing me. Sorry ernern... just need to get it out of my system first. There. I'm alright now. *hugs*

cool.jan.

I'm cool I'm cool! hehehe

timmy.+.tribal.tide

I'm glad cc smsed me to go down to the esplanade again today. Muzak Mosaic! They say once bitten twice shy? Not so for us... after friday's horrendous performances, we were yet again about to risk our night, and to give the local acts the benefit of the doubt. And what a night it was! Electrifying with superb showmanship, excellent instrumental skills, good-enough vocals to showcase the high quality of music-making, and... *ahem* two bands with a good-looking lead vocalist each. *grins*

TIMMY, the first local act of the night and named after the Timmy character in SouthPark, played crowd favourites such as Maroon 5, Sting, Pearl Jam and John Mayer, and set the tone for the evening. With such a wide range of songs, from slow ballads to rock, they certainly played up their flexibility at switching from genre to genre with great ease- they enjoyed themselves and so did we and the old salsa-dancing uncle. Comprising of 2 walawala regulars (including the cute lead vocalist who looked like he was constantly flirting with his mike! O what I would give to be his mike...), 2 supposed composers/music directors, and another drummer, the 5-man band was certainly one of the smoothest local acts I've ever heard perform.

And then came TRIBAL TIDE to rawk the whole stage, indeed a worthy closing act for the entire Mosiac Fest. Yo yo yo wassup man! To be honest, I thought that their name sounded a little on the cheesy side, but they just came up on stage and literally TOOK CONTROL of the crowd. Fusing tribal beats from a HUGE electic mix of percussion instruments like the congos and the box drum, and the amazing tones of the diggerydoo with jazzy snippets of piano, saxaphone, guitar and bass, they put up a superbly tight performance that was totally entrancing. Ranging from bossa nova to samba to Earth,Wind & Fire hits, the audience sweltered it out in the humidity of the tropics and the heat emanating from the band itself. Casey (or is it K.C.?) the lead vocalist-cum-guitarist-cum-bassist, had a kind of funny high-pitched talking voice that seemed almost as if he had inhaled A LOT of helium. But his voice transformed into a powerful instrument when he sang, immediately confident and never once faltering or breaking when scaling the heights of depths of a challenging song. It's even more amazing when you see the 3 percussionists switch instruments like nobody's business, picking up weird looking percussions that I've never seen before, and creating such strong african/samba beats to complement the fragility of the saxophone. It is also their confidence onstage and the fact that they are ENJOYING themselves much as one would do in an informal jamming session, that made their performance all the more gripping. Of course, staring straight into the eyes of Casey as we shook hands with him after added a whole new level to the total experience. :)

Whooopeedoo... I love cute vocalists!

sya.sya.in.china

The funniest thing happened to me today at 1.10am in the goddamn early hours of the morning. Not that I was about to sleep anyway.

Sya aka pernurious boss called, and asked if I was in office. Like HELLO it's 1am on a Sunday morning??! Who in their right mind would be in office? (Except for us lowly paid architectural interns of course... heh) But no, I wasn't thank God. Apparently, he's in China now, and shuer had gone to sleep and locked the door on him, with her Singapore hp OFF. Smart girl... hahaha. He couldn't wake her up no matter how long or hard he banged on the door, and had called to ask for her China hp number. Unfortunately, I didn't have it, and I cannot describe how despondent he sounded over the phone... hahaha. I can literally imagine him standing outside the door of the apartment/house, in the cold chill of the night, shifty-eyed and all, not knowing how to speak Chinese, and desperately wishing that shuer would somehow wake up and let him in. He went something like... "Ummm.. ok... Eeerrrrrrrrr.... Ummm... nevermind... Ummm... Eeeeerrrrrrrrr.... Ummm... Ummmmmmmmm........"

After I put the phone down, I decided to call sh in hopes tt he would have shuer's China number... after all, it's quite poor thing to be stuck outside in the cold in a foreign land (although why do I get the feeling these Sya always finds himself stuck in these kind of situations?!) Sh initially said he didn't have it, and so we both decided to let Sya settle the matter himself since there seemed to be nothing else we could do to help. After about a minute or so though, sh called back to say that he realised he DID have shuer's China hp number so yey... Sya was saved. (OF course if shuer decided to bochap and not answer her hp, that would be a whole different story altogether...)

Thankfully, all's well that ends well. I leave you with Sya's sms of the night, grammatical errors and all:

I manage to get in i almost spend a night with the hawkers outside...thk a lot!

Hahahahaha.. superbly hilarious. What a funny guy! He's just made my day!

lifeless.and.in.need.of.one

There are days when one would feel terribly terribly unfulfilled, and this is one of them.

I feel like I'm just wasting my life away. I have no real passion about anything, not music, not books, not films, not art, not sports, not travelling, and most definitely not architecture. Truth be told, I do enjoy these facets about life at some points in my life, but I certainly do not hanker after them, nor pursue them with the genuine interest that would perhaps give my life a little more meaning. As a result, I end up being unknowledgeable about politics, economics, music, art, history, AND architecture.

What the hell am I doing with my life?!!? On a day such as this, the harsh reality of being all of 24 years and unaccomplished hits close to home. In fact, it hit me while I was literally at home.

Take my typical saturday schedule for example-
11am: Wake up and read book/mag
12noon: Nap
2pm: Wake up
2.30pm: Eat breakfast
3pm: Chat on MSN
3.30pm: Read newspapers
4pm: Nap
7pm: Wake up
7.15pm: Chat on MSN/Blog
NOW: Still chatting, still blogging

At times, I do wonder what it would be to live life with a little bit more insanity. What would it feel like to live life on the edge, to travel spontaeneously, to indulge in the bohemian way of life, to flirt with apparent dangers, to respond to imminent rejections?

I think I'm just a screwed-up spoilt brat uninteresting middle child who wants to get her own way most of the times but seldom does. Ahhhh.. Perhaps I'm just sulking from cc being stuck in office and not being able to go to putumayo with me like we originally wanted to, perhaps I'm peeved that ch and jon are forever stuck in school doing work and I never get to see them anymore, perhaps I'm upsetted that friends+acquaintances all around seem to be having fun and getting somewhere with their lives, perhaps perhaps perhaps........ perhaps I just don't have a LIFE and I need to get out and get one. I can't believe I'm actually considering making a pilgrimage down to school ladled with food offerings for the slogging 'Gods' ch and jon on a SATURDAY NIGHT. But knowing how hard inertia is to overcome on a nuah day such as this, I'll probably end up staying home and watching tv till I fall asleep once again. Ok I DEFINITELY need a life.Anyone has any ideas on where/how to get one?

cannot.make.it.ming

What else is there to say?
The title for this post says it all.

Ming drunk and sleepy after one jug of beer n chix wings (??!?) at our usual ice cold beer haunt on a friday night.
Ming trying to be POISED and COMPOSED in between flopping her head+ her by-then big messy hair on the table.
Ming with red swollen unopenable eyes that seemed to merged with her huge eyebags to form half a sphere. (really!)
Ming who kept giggling uncontrollably for no reason whatsoever.
Ming who couldn't walk straight after, and had to rely on external support sources (elBOH) to make it to the cab without embarrassing herself further.

Then again, the whole night wasn't really all about cannot make it ming.

There was also cannot make it SY, who dropped her cig a total of 3 times on the floor before she lit it up... (clapclapclap! well done!) As bing/chows said, GET A GRIP! ahahaha... damn corny.

There was cannot make it BOH, who kept huffing and puffing away like a chimney and pretending to be the saner one while taking countless hp pics of cannot make it ming.

There was cannot make it HOBBEEZ, who had a healthy red flush to add to his already tanned complexion, and a silly smile stuck on his face to boot.

There was cannot make it BING, who according to cannot make it boh, was trying to act cute the whole night with one raised eyebrow and the likes of it.

But of course, I didn't see cannot make it bing acting cute because I was blocked by cannot make it CHOWS, who even when talking nicely to me, sent fear shivers up and down my spine.

As cannot make it boh put it, it was a happy night indeed. And for all of the one hour and fifteen minutes I was there, it was a well-behaved one for me because chows was right next to me. hahahahahahahahaha...........

Only JAN remains can make it!!! yey! kawaii-neh! *pukes n dies*

Asahi Shinbun Yamagata Building

try.not.to.kill.dancing.pandas

Had originally wanted to post a blog on all things white and beautiful in lieu of the droolworthy iMacs and already indispensable ipods...


SANAA's NY Museum of Contemporary Art


Sejima's Asahi Shinbun Yamagata Building



Was super pissed off at the ugly loose-limbed 'dancing panda' today, and the scary thing is I know not why. There's just something that irks me everytime he talks, he sends hair raising on my back whenever he comes near (ie. within sight). I don't know when it happened or why it happened, but I hate him! I do I do I DO! Oh well... my mantra now is to thinkhappythoughtsthinkbrightcolourstrynottokilldancingpandas. Why does he have to come and squeeze in behind me right now when there's so much space in the entire office?!!? New Space became No Space. Grrrrrrrrr. Kill kill kill!

On a lighter note>>>


In happier times, darling jon and I. I've been looking through my old photos recently, and chanced upon a few that made me yearn for times of the past (and less flabby arms as evidenced by this photo.)

survivor.racers

I LOVE ROB AND AMBER! I do I do I do!

I love the way Rob schemes and plots and manipulates other teams in The Amazing Race
I love the way Amber complements him so well.
I love the chemistry they share.
I love the dimple on Amber's cheek.
I love the cap that Rob wears all the time, hiding his face in the semi-darkness only to reveal a slight sneer.
I love the way they hold hands all the time.
I love the way Amber supports Rob quietly, trusting that he always knows what to do best.
I love the fact that they are already millionaires.
I love the fact that they are so in love and having fun during the race.
I love Amber for being so drop-dead gorgeous all the time.
I love Rob for worshipping Amber like a goddess.
I love Rob for always staying cool under pressure.
I love Amber for holding her own against Rob.
I love them both for not taking the irritating gay couple seriously, flicking them off their backs much like one would do to a fly.


They have single-handedly raised The Amazing Race to a whole new level... What is there not to like about them? *swoon*

cc...take.responsibility.for.your.actions!

[11.38pm, One Shenton Way, 10th floor lift lobby]

One cc in the toilet,
One ambush instigated by sh the professional taupok-er,
One spineless jan who stupidly followed instructions,
One surprise retaliation by cc catching the ambushers off-guard,
One BIG FAT WAD of WET TISSUE thrown sengeh by cc,
One BIG FAT PATCH of WETNESS on
One BREAST (no need to specify whose... NOT a man-boob),
One reused wad of wet tissue picked up from the floor,
One lousy hamji sh hiding behind the office glass door,
One scruffle between jan n cc,
One smaller patch of wetness on cc's back,
One jan doubled up on the floor laughing her guts out,
One cc gasping for air with his red face,
One sh still hiding behind the office glass door.

Ahh my friends, my scandalous buddies, my taupok-ing kakis... what would life be without these frequent, implusive and oh-so spontaneous bouts of insanity that hits whenever it's just the 3 of us? Cc... I still maintain that you are asking for it, cos most of the times you're the one who kacheows sh first. AND, if I ever have trouble producing milk for my child in the future, I BLAME YOU!

So,
Be responsible. Aim properly.

ha.ha.ha.

Aquarius

As a humane and unconventional Aquarius, you excel in professions that make use of your innovative and unique life approach. Rules don't bother your way of thinking because you ignore them anyway. Rather, you attune to the universal will, which makes you quite a revolutionary individual.

There are a variety of occupations that would be right up your alley, for example being an inventor, astrologer, neurologist, computer scientist, pilot, demolition expert (!!!? use what to demolish? my butt ah?) , or cartoonist. For you, Aquarius, just about anything goes as long as you can apply your very own, often offbeat mark of originality.

As a freedom loving Aquarius, you may not find your main occupation for a long time and switch from one profession to another. All along the way, professions that allow you to be free and creative may be best for you, so at one point, you may consider working as a flight attendant(haha!) , do special effects for the film industry, or choose a profession that has to do with esoteric sciences such as astrology or tarot.

In the business world, you may discover early on that you can't do a 9-to-5 job, and instead look for unique and unusual professions that give you the freedom you need. You may decide to work as a freelancer and create your very own niche. Adventure, creativity, and independence need to be part of your career choice, otherwise you will not waste your time.

Coworkers admire your progressive and unique attitude. Your weird and peculiar outbursts may confuse them at times, but they still find your erratic and bizarre attitude refreshing.You are a friendly and humane boss, but sometimes you can seem detached and impersonal. You change from being tolerant to being stubborn, which proves that you are the most unpredictable sign of the zodiac.

The secret of your success is that you break out of conventional thought patterns and are able to discover new, workable paths. You are idealistic and resourceful and could play a role in creating the future technology of this planet.

the.foreignness.of.it.all

... Marco Polo imagined answering ( or Kublai Khan imagined his answer) that the more one was lost in unfamiliar quarters of distant cities, the more one understood the other cities he had crossed to arrive there; and he retraced the stages of his journeys, and he came to know the port from which he had set sail, and the familiar places of his youth, and the surroundings of home, and a little square of Venice where he gamboled as a child.

At this point Kublai Khan interrupted him or imagined interrupting him, or Marco Polo imagined himself interrupted, with a question such as: " You advance always with your back turned?" or "Is what you see always behind you?" or rather, "Does your journey take place only in the past?"

All this so that Marco Polo could explain or imagine explaining or be imagined explaining or succeed finally in explaining to himself that what he sought was always something lying ahead, and even if it was just a matter of the past it was a past that changed gradually as he advanced on his journey, because the traveller's past changes according to the route he has followed: not the immediate past, that is, to which each day that goes by adds a day, but the more remote past. Arriving at each new city, the traveller finds again a past of his that he did not know he had: the foreignness of what you no longer are or no longer possess lies in wait for you in foreign, unpossessed places... the traveller recognizes the little that is his, discovering the much he has not had and will never have...

[above excerpt from Italo Calvino's Invisible Cities, expressing in fluid terms all the surfacing hopes and anxieties that I am feeling with regards to studying abroad.]

Nostalgia Kills The Soul.
Had a chat about nostalgia with a good friend the other night. Not specifically centred on the notion of nostalgia per se, but on peripheral matters that related and somehow reminded me of things, experiences, friends gone by. It always makes me sad to dwell on matters like these, but yet, being the self-indulgent person that I am (yes, quoting from the great O.B., unhappiness IS the most insiduous form of self-indulgence), I always find myself floundering in excessive and uncalled-for self-misery. I hate looking back on the sad events of the past, because I'd always felt that the past is concreted in history and cannot be changed. Friends who used to be so close but are now not even a phonecall away, people whose company you thought you could never have survived a day without, stepped out of your life leaving footprints of invisible ghosts. Happy times now relegated to indifferent obscurity; emotional security now assimilated into satirical independence. Innocence once lost can never be regained; disillusionment once possessed cannot be discarded.

Yet as I turned the pages of Invisible Cities, this fresh perspective on a traveller's past (as we all are on life's journey) struck a chord inside of me. The present, as what we understand of it now, reveals itself more to us in the future in the form of the past. This is perhaps embodied in the power of evaluating on hindsight, with a clarity of mind that comes only with detachment and thereby objectivity. Words said, feelings felt, heartbreak endured, take on less significance after being subjected to the arduous testing of time. We decipher the past with the tools of the present, although I don't suppose that we understand any MORE of the past- it's a different kind of understanding that encroaches upon our present. Age, and a different mindset, lets us see things from a more streamlined angle. How we react to situations and circumstances now, bear their roots in our family upbringing and the kind of attention we received as a kid. Similarly, DISPLACEMENT in lands that are foreign to us, allows for a deeper connection with our heritage, and the notion of what it means to be Asian, to be Singaporean, to be a Tan, to be a part of my family. These are the hopes and aspirations of a would-be traveller- to possess what he never can have.

viva.la.bride!

Jo looking resplendent in her wedding gown during her trial makeup session! So diabetically sweet-looking heh.

bak.loo.loo

loo loo
skip to my loo
loo loo
skip to my loo
loo loo
skip to my loo
skip to my loo my darling


(blogspot is acting retarded tonight... and so I shall too!)

bunny.hop.

Some shocking revelations revealed themselves on confession night with my sec sch kakis. What had started out as an innocent birthday celebration eventually evolved into a night of talk about sex, sexuality, sexual preferences, and past lesbianic relationships within the inner circle of truth. It was a complex web of entanglement that circled back to our friendship 10 years back- much had happened under my very nose without me being the slightest bit aware of it. I had thought that we were all pure and innocent while we were young, and greatly treasured that period of my life, but it turns out that all superficial appearances dig deeper, all past actions have a perfectly logical reasoning behind them on hindsight, and true acceptance only comes after a certain point in friendship. I do treasure this group of friends; they do not judge me, nor I them. I suppose it's all well and good that things only come to light when we're all at this age and experienced more than we otherwise would have. I, once the homophobic, have gradually been weaned to accept and to love people as they are, to admire them for standing up for themselves, and to support them in search of their own happiness. If confession night had taken place 10 years ago, I would have been freaked out to death and my naivety totally shattered in an instant. 10 years down the road, what it leaves me with though, is a greater reluctance to open myself up to others as a form of self-protection, a higher level of disillusion about the notion of God and love, and a lower self-confidence. I still believe with a sinking feeling though (as I had when I was staying in hall), that sex, and not money, makes the world go round. Frankly, we humans really aren't all that different from bunnies.

and.the.winners.are...

The Jakarta JavaJazz Awards-

[Nominees for the Music Category]:
Tania Maria, George Duke, Earth+Wind+Fire, Incognito, James Brown

[Nominees for the Food Category]:
Bakmi Gajah Mada, Bakso Istimera, Pempek, Keropok, Ayam Suharti

[Nominees for the Transportation-in-a-jam Category]:
Feet, Catharina's car, Syasya's car, Bajay, Bluebird/Silverbird

[Nominees for the Leisure Category]:
Gymming, Taiti-ing, Swimming, Shopping, Taupok-ing

And the winners are:
Earth+Wind+Fire for their excellent showmanship and BeeGees-like vocal prowress
Bakmi GM for being the yummiest noodle on earth (And I kid you not!)
Bajay for the three-wheeled thrill of weaving in and out of traffic, and the excessive smoke pollution that caused me to have a coughing fit
Taupok-ing (albeit being a victim ain't as fun as being the taupok-er it seems)

Thanks to all companions and shorts buddies who made this trip more fun than it would have been without you guys! :)
[not forgetting ch, without whose smses I would have lost my sanity hehe]

the.face.of.d---th.

This might sound very creepy (and rightly so), but as I was making my way to work on Tuesday morning (later than usual), I somehow crossed paths with a funeral procession from the adjacent block to mine (same block that the police had cordoned off on sunday). It seems almost too much of a coincidence that I had to be late that very day, so that I would meet the mourners face-to-face. They were following the funeral van slowly, walking through the carpark that I have to cross in order to get to the MRT station, and as a result, I was literally forced to stop, and wait for them to cross, much as a car would wait for a flock of sheep to cross its path deep into the pastoral landscape.

I didn't think much about it until I went home that same night, only to find the void deck of my block occupied by another (yes, you guessed right) FUNERAL. At 4.30am in the morning, the lights of the makeshift funeral parlour, albeit bright, started to take on a ghostly glow. The wind began to turn chilly and the whispers of the the night rang hollow in my ears. As I hurried past the coffin, and heard the low drone of Buddhist chantings, I began to wonder why is it that death is being shoved into my face both day and night? I find funerals creepy indeed, and everytime I walk past one, my heart never fails to beat a tad harder, my feet unconditionally rushing a tad faster. Could this be a sign? I just pray for the safety of my loved ones right now.