rejection.is.never.nice

2 down, 3 more to go.
1 acceptance, 1 rejection.

Rejection is never nice no matter how much one tries to brace up for it, no matter how all the signs point to the fact that one is overreaching and overestimating one's abilities.
Rejection is even worse when another's success is rubbed into your face.
I know it wasn't meant to be that way, and I sure am happy for her. Congratulations Sy! :)
It's just that rejection takes time to get over.

I knew it the minute I sent out the application- I had a bad feeling about it.
I knew it when I found out about sy- I had a sinking feeling in my heart.
I knew it when I saw the small slim envelope- it couldn't contain any more.
I knew it when I read the letter- the paper felt cold to the touch.

I guess it was better tried than to have shrunk back in fear and lived in regret all one's life.
At least this way, I can remain accountable to myself, and hold my head up with pride.
Rejection ought to make one a stronger person but strangely, why do I not feel any stronger?
Afterall, I must HAVE experienced it about a million times before...
It was just never meant to be, but I must learn to count my blessings.
*breathe in deeply*
2 down, 3 more to go.
Acceptance doesn't mean any more than rejection does... Without money, all the acceptances in the world would amount to nothing. Yet New York still beckons...

Brace yourself and be strong jan! Keep believing in yourself! Stand tall! Wear a smile! Hug a friend! Say a prayer! Drink some caffeine! Pop some pills! Get some sleep!

I think I just need some chocolate... insane stuff coming out from my head right now... any chocolate will do for now, I'm not picky. But why do I feel as if I might actually need a Godiva feast at the end of it all? Gosh the waiting is killing me. Sorry ernern... just need to get it out of my system first. There. I'm alright now. *hugs*