what.is.life?

Life works in strange ways, yuwen said when I broke the news to her. Mrs Creffield (also known to us affectionately as Mrs C in acjc, head of the lit department and formidable independent and intellectual woman, coach of the accolade-winning national debate team, passionate teacher and incredible mentor), lost her husband to a rock-climbing accident on saturday morning. The whole irony of the matter was that they had just managed to return unscathed from phuket where they had been holidaying when the tsunamis struck. Having made it back to Singapore safe and sound, he went for his usual weekend mountain-climbing, and that was when tragedy struck.

As a tribute to Mrs C's fame in the teaching circles, the news of her husband's death was reported in an article in Sunday Times page 3. This death leaves her all alone without any children to depend on when she grows old, without any companionship when her eyesight fails her and her senses start to numb. What is life that it could be so fragile? That one could lose it in an instant just as much as one could gain it? As much as I was never really close to Mrs C, and definitely not close to her heart as wen and the rest of the debaters are, I somehow feel an urge to show her that in her time of personal loss and sorrow, there are people who are willing to sacrifice their time and energy to support her, just as she had done the same for us in our time of need. To our beloved Mrs C, stay strong of mind and calm in spirit, our thoughts are continually with you now.

and.the.room.goes.boom!

Boom Boom Room's closing down! After 15 years of being Singapore's longest running cabaret show (or as kumar puts it succinctly, the ONLY one), the days of feather plumes and glittery opulence has finally come to an end. And what a loss for the next generation of the Singaporean society, for if not for anything else, kumar and his gang have taught us not to take ourselves to seriously, to laugh at our own faults, our government, and our society. This light-hearted take on essentially who Singaporeans are, being deeply-rooted in cultural norms and biases, and continually kept up-to-date on current trends and news headlines, serve to widen our often miopic and narcissistic perspective on life, by showing us that our own flaws (as embodied by the cast of hip-thrusting, breast-pumping cross-dressers) are not the be all and end all to living to the fullest.

While I marvel at their ability to balance and even dance on sky-high wobbly stilettos, and still manage to look the more graceful for it, I also admire their courage to put themselves up on the stage as individuals who demand the understanding of the greater public. It is not easy being in their shoes (both literally and metaphorically), being as different as they are, and having to cope with a lot more prejudices than us 'normal' folks are accustomed to. What is being short, fat an ugly compared to being a person born with the wrong sex organ? And what is earning $1600 a month and an uncertain future compared to the certainty of an unstable job where it will definitely be difficult to make ends meet if there is even a job available?

While jostling with the overwhelming crowd last night, (some of whom had turned up in a show of support for BBR, many others, I suspect, came to gape at the freakshow for the novelty of it), I spotted a friend whom I had not met in over a year. Whilst still in Singapore, she had worked at BBR for awhile, after which she switched to a waitressing job. she was frugal, and worried about how to pay the next electricity bill, all the while hoping that she would somehow get talent-spotted and get a contract to sing for a bar. Such heart-breakingly simple aspirations, but how impossible the odds are against her to succeed. The last I heard of her was that she was in Sydney without a work permit and trying desperately to look for a job to support herself. She had been convinced that Singapore no longer held any opportunity for her, and that she was sick and tired of the societal condemnations that she had to go through since her sex operation 9 years ago. Unfortunately, she had to settle for a waitressing job over there as well.

Looking at her, and talking to her, I cannot help but feel that while that fateful operation took away the one thing that obstructed her from fulfilling her destiny as a woman, it inevitably also left an indelible scar on her self esteem. She, who needs constant reassurance and encouragement, also happens to be one of the sweetest-natured person I have come across in my life. She, who had returned to Singapore some time back for a holiday, decided not to contact me for a short chat over a coffee because she thought I would be busy. I suspect though, that it's more the case of sparing me the embarrassment of having to deal with the constant stares if I'm seen in the company of the likes of her in public. Still, I'm grateful to her for teaching me the importance of accepting people with their flaws and eccentricities, for showing me that ultimately, we as fallible human beings are one and the same. For who are we to judge others when we are just as imperfect and unsightly in the purity of God's eyes? I can only hope for a better life for my friend, and pray that I may have the love and the patience to continue to reach out to her.

my.love.

Caught Aviator today, in a rather excrutiatingly cramped Lido Theatre 4. Poor legs had to settle with minimum space needed to keep blood flowing for a lengthy (and on hindsight, pointless) THREE HOURS. For me, Aviator failed to take off because it's leading man, Mr "Titanic-died-for-a-heavy-cause" Leo Di Cap couldn't convince me of the role he was playing. Such a good actor, especially in the scenes showing his inner torment and madness, but pity about the undermining wrinkle-free boyish face that survived a masive plane crash without so much as a blemish. Someone should ask him if he uses SKII.

Anyway, back to the topic of this post. My Love refers to Jude Law, my latest obsession, the source of my heart palpitations (and he ain't no Apple product), who appeared in Aviator for a total of 3 seconds, but who filled up the big screen fully with his easy grace, his aura, and his greek-god-worthy looks. (Amazing how fast I switch camps from the Pitts to the Laws.) He and Ethan Hawke made Gattaca one of the most swoonsome movies of all time, although I sadly could not recall the title of that movie until bohboh reminded me. He is also the reason why Alfie MUSTMUSTMUST be watched. Hey Jude my love. I shall sleep with sweet dreams tonight. :)

pitch.fever.

Wassup with all the sold out soccer tickets man?!? After the entire wild goose chase on foot (!!!)from Shenton Way to Amara Hotel to Tanjong Pagar Centre to Chinatown Market to People's Park to the sleazysleazy Chinatown Point (yes sernhong made us tackle the horrendously planned internal circulation ALL the way to the top floor in search of the elusive Turf Club Ticket Counter nestled in between dark and ominous-looking foot relexology shops with heavily made-up, scantily-clad middle-aged women guarding the doorways and soliciting business from wizened old greasy bald-heads who can't wait to get their hands on some flesh for carnal pleasure...) and we STILL CANNOT GET TICKETS?!? Even resourceful funky brudder aka cl and menacing bookie kee did not manage to do the impossible.

Gosh.

holl.ee.woot

Have you heard the latest gossip from hollywood? Brad and jan's the latest couple!! w00tw00t! (I SO wish.)

eh.see.jay.see.

Met up with ru and grace (ailing) for lunchie and kopie on New Year's Day. Haven't seen either one of them in almost a year... Although grace's in s'pore, we seldom seem to meet up unless ru's back from new york. Pretty weird, but that's the way things go.

The both of them were my close friends in back during my jc days, having been in the same class and all. Together we've endured small shit's (my form teacher who's indian and really really short and stumpy-looking- hence the nickname) sarcastic nonsense, miss marhaini's (malay econs teacher who used to scare the shitout of all of us) screaming, mr welch's (english litereature teacher who's also english by the way) b-o-r-i-n-g, sleep-inducing, yet oftentimes hilarious comments on chaucer, and harvindar singh's (pe teacher who SO DOES NOT sing(h).) weekly physical torture. (Wassup with all these races man!?!) We've had our good moments and bad in our AH container (air-con classroom due to renovations works.. woohoo!), enjoying the a/c while the rest of the school sweated it out in the sweltering heat, but also suffering from fleabites around our ankles because we happily brought in our plush toys (and left them there forever) into our contained classroom. HAHAHA. Those were really the days. There are lots more stories to tell, but the gist of it all is basically that my jc class comprised of super funky, wacky, intellectual and cool characters, mostly over-achievers in their own right, and grace and ru fit right in. Where does this leave me then, you may ask. Out-of-place definitely, but that's another story to tell.

Anyway, grace and ru are really fun people to hang out with. Anyone who's met them before will tell you exactly the same thing. Between grace's rocket-mouth and rolling eyes, and ru's funky clothes and off-beat whims, there just isn't any place for boredom. Conversations flit from topic to topic, from person to person, from place to place. Which makes it all the more boring when silence occasionally sets in into the conversations, as it normally does in any conversation. We talked about people we haven't seen for ages, people whom were in school, caught up on gossip, caught up on each other's lives, more gossip, mentioned names which would otherwise have been shrouded in dust at the back of our minds (no robbie poo, this does not include you...), and of course, some more gossip. The both of them are doing really well now, and I'm happy for them. Ru's graduated from NYU and is currently writing for New York Magazine; Grace won the prestigious L'Oreal international marketing thingamajig and is currently working at L'Oreal as a marketing executive. Me? Still a lowly intern with a lowly-paid job with an uncertain 2005 ahead and an even more uncertain future. I guess I asked for it, choosing to go the path that I did.

Met up with the both of them again tonight, along with wen the fern (who's graduated for Brown with honours and will be going back to AC to teach soon), and Liz (who's married!!!! and working at mindef and whom I haven't seen since we graduated from jc).Gosh. That's like 6 years already. And almost as if we're trying to make up for lost time, we're planning a class gathering this coming friday, which will probably just be the 5 of us and another additional 3-4 people, as all class gatherings go. I know I've had conversations with kimmie before, ranging from the topics of how we think everyone in our class is so up-there and pretentious, and how we don't like to meet up with them because it's just so trying, but right now, after all these years and after a certain mellowing of thought maturity, I can't help but feel that friendships can (and will) start all over again if you want them to. Hopefully I'll get to make a trip to either Taiwan or Japan with grace and ru this year... and no, I've not forgotten Cambodia, ming, or NY, ern... but oh well. Everything just depends on the timing and of course the available funds. :)

This week's schedule goes:
Monday- gym
Tuesday- dinner with ru, grace, wen and liz
Wednesday- dinner+drinks+velvet(?!?) with vy, qing, jan, grace (low) and other sec sch kakis
Thursday- gym
Friday- dinner with ac classmates
Sat- dinner+drinks with aki people
Sun- mani+pedi with ming and nik? (how abt it ming?!? or sat is fine too I guess.. I can always go shopping on sunday... hee)

What fun! 2005 is starting on a good note. (And I don't mean gym!) Muahahaha. :)

P.S. chinny says elyse has a blog! Go check it out peeps!
http://www.livejournal.com/users/elysesewell/

2.0.0.5.

We have arrived. The new year is upon us now. Before work starts getting into full-swing, and school breaks us (and our defences) down, before our lives begin to crowd up with a multitude of new experiences, new people, new environments and new knowledge, I would like to reflect a little on the people who have made a difference in my life during the year gone by.

What a year it has been! As I came back home from niki's house tonight, I couldn't help but marvel at the way my friends have eked out a space for themselves in my heart. Each and every one of them... Some more so than others no doubt, but all just as important and as much a part of me as I of them. To these people I have often bared my heart, shown my ungrram side (shaddup all of you! *glare*), and exposed my moodswings and eccentricities. With them I've shared much laughter, distributed saikang workload, braved the bitter and the bad, and celebrated the everyday and the ocassions. In their company, I have gone from a shy and introverted individual in need of constant reassurrance, to a loud and still introverted individual in need of constant attention. Over the years, the group has been enlarged to assimilate more people, even as cliques are broken and barriers overcome. New acquantainces forged, even as old alliances are renewed. Just what is it that draws all of us together? The love for life or the enjoyment of it? The pain of going through architecture, loving it and yet hating it at the same time? The empathy that can only be shared among fellow architectural (ex and current) students? Whatever the case, I must say that this is one helluva group of people, and I really appreciate them for being totally wacky, cool and out-of-this-world, and for accepting me as I am.

I know I seldom say this, but I do love you guys so much. I cannot even begin to think where I would be right now if not for all of you. I probably would still be stuck listening to bubble-gum pop and soppy boybands, watching Titanic over and over again at home while bawling my eyes out for the millionth time, keeping my hair long and straight like I always thought girls should, and basically not even knowing what T&C is. (I know it finally ming!) I probably would have never managed to graduate, since I never ever made it to lectures and the only reason why I did so eventually, was because you guys took extra lecture notes for me. I would have never passed all my design projects if not for the constant critique and appraisal garnered during informal discussions. I would have never gone to mambo because I simply would not have known what that was! I would have never managed to send out school applications on time if not for the timely advice and external push factor. I would have never dared to dream further than I can see into the future, I would have never dared to be ME.

In this new year ahead, a huge upheaval beckons, major change hovering on the horizon. Many of us will be scattered across the world, in different places leading different lives, pursuing our various interests to varying degrees as we deem fit. This group will be mostly separated at the same time next year, and it almost feels like a bittersweet parting to think that way. To say goodbye is not easy, but letting go is also a sign of love. To each his own, but yet in unity we find strength. Cheers to the new year and come what may, let us grit our teeth, hold each others hands, and face the unknown, together, forever.

To my exceptionally talented aki friends, kudos and ganbate! You all have made architecture worthwhile for me. Muaks.

raspy.sexy.janny.2

Stayed in bed the whole day. Didn't do any of the things I thought I might do. Throat still sore, nerves even more irritable. Wish I could just sleep the entire week away. But that's SO not possible is it? Still raspy, sexy no.

raspy.sexy.janny.

At home with a sorethroat today. Decided to stay home and rest instead of dragging myself to work and showing everyone my horrible black face again. My throat is painful and the soreness teethers on the verge of translating into a fever. (sorry to the saikang gang for the weird mood yesterday... really wasn't feeling too good, hence the constant irritability and lack of tolerance for suaning. heh heh)

Good thing that the weather's nice and cool today, just perfect for sleeping in... and perhaps I could pop by the gym later for a run? Not too sure if that's advisable though. Perhaps I could take the time to visit Borders (15% discount!!! Last day today!) and grab myself a book to read. Or I could call up some non-working friends and meet them for a cuppa coffee....

The pain already seems to have lessened somewhat. :)
Have a good day at work to all you healthy people!

swoon.gush.salivate.

This blog is dedicated to the cute waiter (yes! another one! heh heh) I met on Christmas Day itself.

My family and I had adjourned to this steak house somewhere in Novena for a Christmas lunch after church service. HE caught my eye immediately. (Love at first sight? Or lust? haha) Initially I thought HE was one of the diners as HE wasn't wearing the typical waiter uniform... in fact, the reason why I noticed HIM in the first place was because HE was wearing a really nice shirt (almost like something you can get off the racks at Country Road or A/X). It was striped with a bit of embroidery, very detailed, very elegant. HE himself was tall, good-looking, rather fair, and sturdily-built. Not body-builder kind of big, but not scrawny either; not drop-dead gorgeous but pleasant-looking enough (if you get what I mean). Naturally, I couldn't take my eyes off HIM, and throughout the lunch, I kept a sharp lookout, waiting for the moment HE came into my field of vision again. After some time, I began to realise that HE was actually working at the steak house, because HE started serving food to my table. I concurred that HE could possibly be

a) a normal waiter who forgot to bring his uniform to work that day
b) a diner who had too much time on his hands and therefore decided to help out the understaffed steak house during the peak lunch period
c) (and obviously the view I'm biased towards taking) the boss' son who pops by to help out once in awhile.

I was particularly taken with the cultured air around HIM- HE carried himself with a grace and strength of character that can only be ingrained into one from a tender age. (ie. HE is relatively rich, and no mere waiter boy) How can I tell all this by just looking at HIM, you may ask? Well, sometimes people's faces really reveal a lot about their upbringing and personality. And HIS, (to me) was simply to-die-for.

After lunch, my family and I decided to congregate outside the steak house to say our goodbyes and arrange our schedules for the day; who to take a lift from whom, where everyone is going from thence and all that usual parting stuff. Surprise surprise, who else was outside but HIM? HE was apparently settling some accounts with a delivery man, but as I stepped out from the steak house, I caught HIM staring at, ME. (No, my boobs weren't hanging out from my top, I wasn't making a lot of noise as I normally do, and granted, I'm not even pretty.) It wasn't an oh-my-gawd-she's-so-freaking-ugly kind of stare, neither was it a oh-my-gawd-wassup-with-her stare, but it was just, a stare. And a relatively long one at that. I was on the phone with ming/cc at that time (not too sure because my stomach was doing somersaults and my head a little giddy from the extra attention) but I occasionally looked up to see if HE was still staring. HE was. My entire family was standing between HIM and ME, but even as I paced to and fro all the while talking on the phone, I could feel (and see) HIS eyes follow me, oblivious to the gesturing of the delivery man who was still deep in conversation. A couple of times MY eyes met HIS, but not knowing what to do, I always averted my gaze quickly. I suppose it must have been rather obvious that I was checking HIM out as much as HE was doing the same to ME. All this happened within a span of 5 minutes or so, but the connection was very real, and I so hope it wasn't just wishful thinking on my part. Eventually, I decided to do the cowardly thing- turn around and walk away, but even as I did so, I could not help but wonder, WHAT IF? Is this what finding a soulmate feels like?

Haha.
Try not to mock me too much ok? (Esp. you ch!!!)
My heart is fragile. :)
*swoon*

thumpy.thump.thump.

Joined ming, gie and mich for a girl's night out at thumper's to countdown to Christmas day... Orchard road was pure and utter madness. My usual $4 cabfare from Queenstown turned into a $13 one, and I didn't even manage to stop at my destination directly. The taxi I was in got jammed at Tanglin Rd for a good half hour... and I was seriously falling asleep because the anticipation of getting to thumper's had waned by the first 5 mins of slow cab-crawling.

After I alighted from the cab at Tanglin Club (so as to walk the distance to Goodwood Park Hotel which seemed impossible to cover via a cab), I was stopped along the way by this petite-looking girl carrying huge bags of LV and Prada and whatnot. She was a portugese who had apparently just lost her wallet+passport, and was looking for directions to get to the nearest police post. I tried to be rather nice at first (it was Christmas eve after all), and even contemplated giving her some money to take cab home, but that thought vanished immediately the moment she said home was in seletar... !!! I eventually gave her directions to get to Tanglin Police Post, which was, to my limited knowledge, the nearest one around already. However, after 15 mins of trying to convince her that this was so, and that the surefire way of getting there was to brave the crowds and walk along Orchard Road against the direction of traffic, and that walking the back alley way through Tanglin Country Club was so-not-a-smart-idea-to-do because it's confusing and dark, I decided I had had enough of her whining and puppy-dog sad eyes and sent her on her way towards Orchard Road while I made my way (finally) down to Thumper's. The last I saw of her was a timid figure walking slowly in the direction towards Lido, hesitant and wavering. She had gone no more than 10 metres before she turned around in confusion and uncertainty. My gawd. I felt like wringing her perfect-looking thin neck. I wanted to shout at her: Walk a bit further can die one ah?!!? Walk only mah!!! You walk straight you will surely get to Orchard Rd... turn left and walk until the end of the road and you'll be near there already... don't walk you'll definitely have to sleep on the streets... like WASSUP MAN!!! If get lost just ask for directions again lah! Piang.How in the world do people like that survive out in the big bad world?!? Don't tell me she expected me to walk her ALL THE WAY there? *puke blood and die*

Anyway, yes, that was not the main incident that defined my night. The central highlight was actually seeing Ming drunk and making a fool of herself (as usual). Haha. I shall decline to reveal anymore details lest she comes after me in real life. Afterall, the virtual space of the internet is merely an extension of reality, and if princess ming decides to condemn me to my death here on my blog (DIE DIE YOU BITCHES as she proclaims), she is capable of carrying out her threats physically as well. :P

Merry Christmas everybahdeeeeeeeee......... how did YOU spend your Christmas eve?
(have mercy on me princess ming!)

cock.roach.

Today I met gie and bren for our annual Christmas dinner. We decided to forgo our usual Sakae fare and go try something new, after I suggested Mushroom Pot, as my sis has been raving about the mushroom fries for-like-ever. It was the longest distance I've ever had to walk from Orchard MRT down to Orchard Point (where the new OG is), considering you can never walk in a straight line. You have to "siam' people left and right, to escape from the countless irritants who constantly try to shove leaflets into your hands, to avoid the screaming kids who are just waiting to get stomped on, and basically just move along with the horrifically, excrutiatingly slow human traffic flow. They say humans are like locusts- multiplying too fast, destroying everything that comes into their path- and how true it is. I wish I had a bulldozer sometimes though.

Having eventually arrived at our foodie destination, we set down to encounter another obstacle of a different kind. The menu choice was tremendously mind-boggling! There were all kinds of mushrooms to choose from, starters, hot pots, steamboat, noodles, desserts, drinks, yadahyadahyadah... Whatever happened to the one food fits all kind of outlet? To make matters worse, all the staff there seemed to understand only chinese. *groan* When the food finally arrived, I found that it wasn't as FANTASTIC as my sister had claimed it to be (I do like the mushroom fries.. so crispy and light!) but it was erm, "interesting" by all accounts. The main highlight of the night came in the form of a little cockroach nymph who had apparently crawled out from a hole in the table where the gas for heating the steamboat comes from. (Thank God we didn't order steamboat... I'm sure the smell of charred cockroach nymph emanating from below the table isn't an entirely appetising scent either.) Gie, being frightfully paranoid about cockroaches (she would cut off her arm if a cockroach ever ran over it), naturally and instinctively sprung up and away from the table. I did too, as cockroaches are not really my cup of tea (and not IN my tea hopefully?!!?) This left brenda the brave sitting at the table with all eyes on her (including surrounding diners') and she calmly did us all a service by squashing the ugly nymph with a spare tissue. Shockingly, the staff of Mushroom Pot did not

a) replace our half-eaten food on the table after we turned down their offer to (like hello? we're just being nice about it here? we don't really mean what we say!!!)
b) offer to relocate us to another (cleaner?) table
c) give us more discount on our food (stupid waiter said 15% is the most they can give... bah! what nonsense!)

What they DID do was to

a) keep coming over to clear our plates EVEN when it was darned obvious that there was still food left on the plate and we were still eating (wassup with them man?1 I think they're overstaffed. Like leave us alone in peace until we finish ALL our food! grrrrrrrrrrr.)
b) say that all they can do is to apologise, and that all restaurants have cockroaches and there is nothing they can do if one decides to pop its head out once in a while. (excellent excuse don't you think?)

Gosh.
Next time, I'll just dabao the mushroom fries and eat it somewhere else. What incorrigible service. They should learn a thing or two out of the book of the cute ah beng-looking waiter from fish&co... which reminds me... heh heh. I should visit that outlet again sometime soon! *jan-happy-again* :)

Merry Christmas eve everyone!
Have a good one while I hole up at home with my trusty tv.

paint.the.town.red.

Red hair red hair I've got red hair!!!
hee.
Little red monster jan makes an appearance once again! :)

shopping.with.sisters.day.

Went shopping in town with my elder sis after church today. She claimed she needed my *ahem* expertise on clothes and desperately wanted a second opinion of that akin to an *ahem* fashion consultant.

HA.HA.HA.
Me.
Fashion disaster turned fashion consultant to sis.

Anyway, was at the topshop changing area when out-of-the-blue, I heard a familiar voice calling out my name. "JANICE!" (Erps.) I turned, and boh the apparition had mysteriously appeared out of thin air. (For those not in the know, bohboh DOES not shop at lowly places like topshop. She only goes for high-end stuff IF she shops AT ALL.) My heart nearly jumped out of its place, you can imagine my surprise to see her there (although I had prior notice that she would be buying pants this weekend.) She was there with her sis (Jan+Jo, Charm+Charlyn... how corny can parents get when naming their children?!!?) so we all went for a cuppa kopi together-gether. Was pretty fun actually, bumping into people like that all of a sudden. How nice to have two pairs of sisters chatting about nonsensical stuff to each other- once strangers but now linked by a common friendship bond. (Awwww...)

The rest of the day was spent at Far East with bohboh (and my sis, and boh's sis and boh's sis's friend... haha) where we shopped for awhile and picked up real funky retro sunglasses, then boh and I went on to lido for dinner, to Ralph Lauren for white shirt shopping, to zara for lala-ing and to meet ming with roy in tow (w00tw00t), then on to ming's to eat shuijiao... What a jam-packed day. The Christmas period always passes by in such a rush don't you agree?

Rushing off to go finish up some application stuff now! :)

fatty.happy?

I met an ex-hallmate while out shopping with ming today. After exchanging the usual courtesies, he commented that I still look the same (ie he-heard-from-others-that-I-had-lost-weight-previously-but-no-leh-I-still-look-the-same-kind-of-SAME.) I had to surreptitiously inform him that I HAD lost weight but now have happily piled everything back on again. Dammit. I need to find my resolve to hit the gym regularly again (okok I admit, even getting my lazy ass to the gym now would be a victory of some sort in itself) and it'll take me another 2 long years to get back to where I was at this same time last year. Like wasssssssssssssuuuup man. I hate wallowing in fats and I hate starving and right now I hate going to the gym. So how? Gives new meaning to stuck in a rut eh? If i don't do something about it soon, I will be stuck in the rut forever *shudders*. Ok, I shall endeavour to walk the shops more. A cardio workout beckons! Heh.

Bought 2 pairs of shoes, 1 shirt, 1 tee, 2 presents and some underwear today! Am on a roll I say... To quote from Jim Carrey: "Scchomebahdee scchtop me!"

countdown.to.christmas

It's that time of the year again! The time when the air suddenly seems so much sweeter, the weather so much cooler, the streets (and shops) so much more crowded, the lovebirds in public so much more intimate, and the singles so much more lonesome.

I shall not bother to espouse on the tired and cliched meaning of Christmas- to me, the meaning has long faded away, both in my heart and spirit. There is NO meaning to Christmas. Period. Fullstop. 'Nuff said. It's just a time to revel in gluttony and jiggle in the accumulation of coagulated body oil, as well as a time to splurge on useless stuff for often useless people. It's a time to pamper oneself for surviving another tough year of life and living to see an even tougher year ahead; it's a time to reflect back on past mistakes but also knowing that the past always comes back to haunt, and that history repeating itself is a natural course of animated life.

I spent my entire evening with jon, weaving in and out of the crowds, trying to get ourselves some bargains at the Suntec Madness (which was truly disappointing I must say), and coincidentally not finding any. He fell in love with a green pair of Jamaican-themed pumas, I, with a present I had originally intended to give to a friend. Well, no longer, and all the more goodie for me! *rubs hands in glee* We had dinner at Fish & Co, made all the more pleasant by a friendly and lean-ly muscular waiter. Although jon and I both agreed that he had the face of an ah beng, (not monkey lah... that's ah M-eng!) he being extremely courteous and attentive, chatty and possessing strong arms and a cute butt, made for delectable eye candy that complemented the already delicious food. Mmmmmmmmmm. :) I have a slight suspicion I will be making my way down to Fish & Co again very soon... haha

So what is the whole point of this blog you may ask? Nuthin'. Just to say that being bimbotic and out-of-point
during the Christmas season is entirely forgiveable as the entire world succumbs to temptations of the flesh all at once. Three things you need to get through the merryberry season: Money, Love, and Sex. And if you have none of all three (just like me) then HOHOHO a jolly merry Christmas to you too! If you have one of two out of the three, high time you re-evaluate your life and start finding the missing ones. If you have all of the above, I hate you, go and die.

b.r.o.k.e. but.not.broken.

After a whirlwind 2 weeks pia-ing my portfolio and recommendation letters and applications forms, I have finally sent out my very first school application (albeit by fedex because I decided I shouldn't scrimp and compromise on my application since I have already spent a bomb on everything else.)

It has not been easy. There were many times when I had wanted to give up, when all my efforts seemed futile, when the gods were not smiling upon me and circumstances seemed just so impossible. To make it all worse, I was not allowed to take leave from work because there was a drawing submission deadline due around the same time as my application. Doing my portfolio in the night, sleeping around 5-6am everyday, going to work in the day and staying until 9 plus 10, and rehashing the entire cycle over and over again, I certainly felt zombiefied and very very stretched to my limits. It was only due to much encouragement and advice from friends around me that I managed to pull off such a stunt. And for that I am really grateful... What would I be doing if I didn't have that extra external push factor? Not that I am proud of managing to 'bang' everything out in a space of 2 weeks... To say that it isn't all my fault that I was stuck in such a situation would be such a blatant lie. I am a procrastinator and I know it. But I think what matters at the end is that it got done eventually. The much harder, more painful and definitely more expensive way.

Today I wondered as I look back at the whole experience: Is it possible to WILL myself to study overseas? To stay afloat and survive even through the hard times just by sheer will? Could one's will be SO great that everything else just HAS to fall into place? I certainly hope so although I see it happening in others' lives rather than my own.

And I realise the my thoughts are incoherent right now perhaps as a result of a long night out at orchard road, talking about likes, dislikes, aspirations and ultimately who we are. It's nice to be comfortable in the company of friends, and to be able to share about things close to one's heart that are seldom spoken of. Clears up the air somewhat and makes feelings seem so much closer. Okay I really don't have anything interesting or smart to say so I shall end off this blog here. I need my sleep. Beauty sleep would be good, but if all else fails, just sleep would suffice too I guess. :)

b.l.e.a.h.

Don't ask me why I've not been blogging. I'm so DAMNED tired. I just hope all this is worth it in the end. That I won't end up veryvery poor, veryvery indebted and veryvery school-less.

i.d.o.l.s.fever.

It has been proven.
The power of the TAU family has surpassed that of the lians.
TAUfik, backed by his cousins TAUpok and TAUgua, his chinese uncle Yong TAU Foo, his ex-lover TAUgay (for the obvious reasons), his darker alterego TAUnee, and his childhood bully TAUsuan, triumphed over the SLY ones in their Shiing-a-puu-rreeeh Ai-dohl Final Showdown at the Indoor Stadium last night.

Me? I was at Shyn's apartment in HV with a couple of allies- Jan, Vy, and Rui, as well as a foe from the opposite camp- Qing. Commercial breaks were spent sms-ing votes for Taufik (my idol!) and stuffing my face with rojak, the duration of sly's horrendous singing was spent bitching and suaning Qing, the duration of Taufik's winking (and much more)was spent swooning, the announcement of the TAU victory was spent screaming unabashedly, the aftermath of the victory was spent cuddling two extremely manja tabby cats. Real fun company I must say, although the girls went krraah-bbiiingg after whilst I had to go home and rush my portfolio out. (Not that I did anything really constructive, but still.)

I'm really happy Taufik won. My IDOL! :)

moonie.moon.moon.

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon. You're in touch with your emotions and intuition. You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory. Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone). A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.

What Planet Are You From?

Got this link off yvette's blog... Not sure I agree with the infinite memory thing though. I'm turing senile already. Always forgetting important stuff, forgetting names of people, forgetting my experiences a couple of years back... Like wassup man? But yeah the moon. Why is my planet so UNGRRRRRRAAAAAAAMMM compared to yvette's Neptune and CH's Venus?!?

*moons* (oops!)