spit.spat.sput.

I had a little spat with my elder sis last night over the smallest of issues. I had gotten home dead tired after my first basic photography lesson I'm currently pursuing under the Objectifs umbrella, and all I wanted was to go home, rest awhile, blog a little, and go to bed.

My elder sis, who was asleep at the time I reached home, woke up for no apparent reason and started washing the leftover dishes in the sink. (Dishes in this case alluding to three forks, a cup and two plates.) She started getting all irritated and stuff, seeing how no one bothered to clear up the mess, wash the dishes and take out the trash after dinner. (By the way, this always happens during the rare occassions she decides to help out around the house.) She singled me out for reprimanding, jumping on me out-of-the-blue, demanding to know why I didn't bother to clear up after eating. Like hello.... I just got home?!?!? I was just minding my own business, catching up on news while lounging on the sofa, when she came over and interrogated me, refusing to let the matter rest even when I assured her I would empty the dustbins after I was done with the papers. It got to the point that I was fast losing my cool with her. It was such an uncalled for spat, especially in the light of the fact that I hadn't seen her at all since last Sunday. Don't I deserve a warmer reception at home? Sheesh.

Anyway, I got fed-up and decided I didn't want to help take out the trash after all. I thus retired to my room and turned off the lights. Soon after, I got an sms from my elder sis.
It read:

" You didn't keep your word."

This was my reply to her via sms as well:

" I don't see why I should after the way you jumped at me. Stop being so self-righteous all the time. There were many times when I helped to clean up too ok."

Okay, so this happened a good 29 hours ago, and what am I doing still harping on this issue at this point in time? The fact of the matter is, when any aspect of your life is unresolved and in conflict, it constantly bugs and occupies the sub-conscious no matter what activity you are involved in. Last night I slept badly, and my concentration level at work today was significantly lowered. And now I'm still in office on the pretext of having work to rush (which I do), just so that I can avoid the now-tense atmosphere at home. Relationships are fragile things. Once broken, it takes a lot before it can be restored. The last time my elder sis and I quarrelled, we ended up not speaking to each other for four months. The clock is ticking on this one, fuelled by our stubborn personalities.

rushrushrush.

I'm in a harried state of mind.

Haven't had time to pause think and reflect on what's been going on around me the last one and a half weeks. I realised that blogging is really therapeutic, and having gone cold turkey from blog (no thanks in large to my silly home computer which has, surprise surprise, died again!?!?), I feel as if there's so many things I've wanted to say but it's all lost by now. Random thoughts floating in the air that will never be anchored down until I chance upon them again.

Life's full of opportunities and choices, whether one grasps hold of them tightly of not. My heart aches for things that could have been, but now will never be.
The possibilities are indeed endless.
It's such a torture to live through life wondering... What if?
What if I had been smarter, prettier, slimmer, richer, more popular, a guy, a gay?
What if I never get to go overseas to study? What if I had decided to study art instead of aki?
What if what if what if.
I hate it that the options are so convoluted, and the future seems so blurry and unfocussed. Then again, is it always possible to live vicariously all the time? To count every blessing, to be grateful and appreciative for what we already have, to say this is my life that I'm living and be proud of it?

My thoughts are incoherent, my body's crying out for rest. Sleep offers no respite for the troubled mind.

are you d.e.a.d.?

Came to work late today because I worked late the previous night.
Was listening to winter chill on the bus when I got a call:

"Hello! Are you okay?"

"Erm... Yes, I am. Why?"

"Nothing. Was just wondering where you were because you're not in office yet. We thought you died. Got choked by a fishbone or kenna langah or something."

"Wad the hell?!!? Choked by a fishbone?!? Kenna langah?!? (For the uninitiated, 'kenna langah' is singlish for 'being run over by a vehicle'.) Choi! No lah. Worked late yesterday so couldn't wake up. Will be in office soon. Okay lah. Talk to you then."

I was smiling to myself when I ended the call. How many times does a friend call just to check if you're okay out-of-the-blue? (Even if it's to check that I'm not dead yet haha) Sometimes it's the simple things that really makes all the difference in the world. :) The first msn greetings I got when I reached the office was a "How are you?" and a very elated-sounding "She's alive!"

Thanks bohboh and mendy. *hugs*

super.sonic.

Pulsating beats, erratic rhythms
Expand, contract the sonic space.
Landscapes form and dissipate
Culminating in a half-craze.

Blank-eyed stare, all glassed over,
Physical reality fades away.
Conjured up in a surreal daze,
The gleeful dancing notes still play.

Nothing affects within the strains,

That which left and right ear hold.

Plugged in to the supersonic,

Immersed in a formless world.

purple.panther. *ROAR*

Doraemon personality link sent by Yvette!
http://noracom.net/eng/fortune/color_cheki1.php
The bad english makes me cringe, although some things they say are really true. Like the very last line of this post.


Janice
February/04/1981
Female

You are Purple Panther

who tends to be precautious, and unlike your gentle atmosphere you are strong-minded and courageous woman.

You don't listen to other people, and carry out with your opinion.

Although you don't possess coolness to see things objectively, and analyze subjects intelligently, you have great natural instinct.

You have flexible thoughts, and can lead life with perseverance.

You will not miss opportunity.

You can adapt and sort out difficulties that you come across.

You can face the things that interest you with unusual effort and spirit, but you will not even try to see those things that you are not interested.

You seem like a gentle and kind person, but really you possess lots of problems and are always struggling within yourself.

People are unable to understand your complicated feelings.

This increase your problems further.

You are a person with great dreams and are active and possess straight forward baldness.

You can show this talent in your career.

You will not be able to stay quietly at home as a housewife.

guinea.pig.

Today's forecast:

Don't let those cobwebs clinging to your current routine get you down. Shift the furniture into some weird new configuration. Get out of the house. Take your guinea pig for a walk. (Or whatever. Just get moving.)

Come chinchwee! Time to bring you for a walk now! Fetch boy fetch! :p *pats head*
Hahahahahaha....
I like my guinea pig in my office. He's affable, nice to bully, and very very good-natured. Muacks!

Okay. Forgive my sudden burst of insanity. It's 9.10pm and I'm still in the office redrawing some masterplan diagram for the millionth time. You know how words start to look weird when you spell it too many times or stare at it for too long? The same goes for drawings. It looks DARNED weird to me, but as long as Boss doesn't mind, I guess it should be fine by me too. (Not Mr. Penurious... This one's Mr. Pernicious... Beware. His speech retardation assimilates into your own thinking sub-consciously!) Call me a spineless creature without opinions of my own, whatever. Sometimes it's just not worth fighting for what you want, especially when you're not exceptionally convinced by it as well. Oh well. I don't have anything interesting or act-smart to say today. My brain cells are dead. Dead dead dead. :(

harpooned.

This week's astrology forecast says it all:

You're due for some big new ideas, and early in the week you've got a unique opportunity to brainstorm in the perfect environment. You'll know your genius when you see it. Take care of business Wednesday and let the crazy new stuff simmer for a while. You'll need to make sure every detail is taken care of with your ongoing projects before proceeding. Egos battle it out all around you on Friday -- try not to get involved too seriously or it may put a serious cramp into your weekend.

Sigh. Some big new ideas indeed. I got a whole competition project to myself. I don't need to know my genius! I want my weekend!
Is it only Monday today?
It feels like it's going to be a long week.
Bleah.

h.a.l.l.u.c.i.n.a.t.i.o.n.s.

The black shroud lingers,
Creeping ever nearer.
Permeating from the toes,
Leaving a greyish pallor.
Sickening to the stomach,
Imbibed with gruesome trauma.
Now's the time to reaffirm,
The love for one another.

Unearthly fleeting shadows,
First here then that corner.
Voices in the distant space,
Faintly alluring to thither.
Bodily realities merge,
Parallel worlds start spinning.
Nothing is what it was before,
Life could never be dearer.

portrait.of.another.man.

Nicolas. Jon's swiss model friend who joined us later at Glutton Square. He was a little on the tipsy side but proved to be good chatty company... Definitely NOT your typical dumb blonde.

portrait.of.a.man.

Met up with jon for dinner+movie after beaching. We caught this korean flick titled "Cool Guy" against our wishes. Saturday night's hell for trying to catch the more popular movies that everyone else is vying for seats for (and an even lower level of hell when stuck in a human jam in the badly circulated Orchard Cineleisure... Madness I say!) I kinda enjoyed the feel-good happy-ending movie though. Obviously the droolsome lead actor with the delicate features played a significant part in this. (I wonder if he went under the scapel too just as half of Korea has?) Anyway, this is jon at Glutton Square after the movie with bright city lights in the background. The only reason why he looks so delighted is because he's facing all the stalls of yummilicious food. Glutton square indeed haha. Stop inducing me to eat! *glare*

sun.sand.flipflops.and.sea.

A try-hard-to-be-artistic shot of my flipflops on the vast espanse of sand. A picture-perfect day begets alluring pictures... Doesn't this look like a typical ad for Sentosa? Yvette said the sand's imported all the way from Hawaii- I don't have to travel halfway across the world to feel Hawaiian sand. Then again, if the real thing was just as coarse and unrefined I suppose the trip halfway across the world wouldn't be worth its weight in gold. How disillusioning.

armed.and.ready.

Beaching essentials! Suntan oil, transistor radio, a bottle of cold water, a beach sarong, and the all-essential carry-all to dump everything into... All geared up for war as you can tell. :)

:p

Poseur @ the beach! I love the blatant display of bimboticism at its best!

the.same.shade.of.blue.

Yvette and her trusty blue nike cap...

home.unit.

evidence of yvette + me on a mission! HOT HOT HOT!!! (I meant the sun lah... what were you thinking?!?)

a.l.i.e.n.s.

Harbourfront mrt! I was initially waiting for the remnants of the crowd to clear, being someone who believes that the best spaces are those captured without ugly humans inside... However, I realised that without the human scale, this space would seem too unbearably cold. Too wanna-be futuristic, too wanna-be hi-tech. Eeks. A totally out-of-point elongated spaceship. Like whatever.

12.30

I TIME I 1.2.3.0.
I PLACE I s.e.n.t.o.s.a. p.a.l.a.w.a.n. b.e.a.c.h.
I WEATHER CONDITIONS I b.r.i.g.h.t. s.t.r.o.n.g. s.u.n.
I OBJECTIVE I t.a.n. t.o. a. n.i.c.e. s.u.n.b.a.k.e.d. g.o.l.d.e.n. b.r.o.w.n.
I HOME UNIT I j.a.n. a.n.d. y.v.e.t.t.e. l.e.f.t. i.n. s.i.n.g.a.p.o.r.e.
I POINT OF CONTENTION I b.o.h. a.n.d. n.i.k. a.n.d. d.i.n.g. o.n. d.i.v.i.n.g. e.x.p.e.d.i.t.i.o.n..@. t.i.o.m.a.n.
I ARMAMENTS I s.u.n.t.a.n. l.o.t.i.o.n. a.n.d. s.k.i.m.p.y. b.i.k.i.n.i.s.
I MISSION I t.o. w.i.n. a.t. a.l.l. c.o.s.t.s.

IT'S WARTIME!!! *growl*

uber- c.o.o.l.

yvette the uber-cool chick! Enormously big eyes that manage to convey multitudes of feelings in a single glance; a smile that speaks of sincerity and vulnerability; a detached ice-maiden exterior that dissipates to a warm aura when she decides that you're worth the risk and opens up to you; eccentrically quirky, hilariously witty and intellectually-profound (though she claims not to be) - these are the qualities I love about yvette. muacks!

h.a.p.p.y. f.a.c.e.s.

wendy aka cindy aka mendy + me! Sitting at delifrance chitchatting with yvette whilst waiting for the vertical catwalk to commence. What a lovely nuah feeling... Out in the open air with time to spare, enjoying good company. I certainly haven't done that in a long time! :)

vertigo.

Thrilling and exhilarating stunts from Esprit's vertical catwalk @ cityhall! Need I say more? The pictures say it all! Up up and away!!!