humpty.dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

All of a sudden, literally overnight, the world came crashing down. Life is so fragile. You live your life, day to day, seemingly building up a fortress of impenetrable rock, only to realise in an instant that the foundation's been created out of a single matchstick. Like a loose thread that distangles itself from an entire roll of cloth, the more you pull at it, the more the seams come apart. Funny thing is, you never know exactly how vulnerable you are until hurt creeps silently in like a burglar on the prowl. It's not as if anything MAJOR has happened, but the realisation of certain things are enough to undermine the fake sense of security surrounding my life the last couple of months. I thought I wouldn't get hurt again, I thought it didn't matter, as long as I lived my life happy, did the things I wanted to do, the way I wanted to. And I was happy in a way I guess. So what happened? I had glossed over problems, pushing them to the back of my consciousness, willing them away. I'd painted over the cracks hoping they would mend when left untouched, putting up a brave "wet from new paint" front. In due time, the problems resurfaced, the paint peeled away. Still, I yearn for the childlike innocence of yesteryear, always protected, always safe in my own world. I hate feeling like this. Let me just get away from all this nonsense. I need to run far far away. Save me from myself.