what.a.huge.load.of.crap.

4.30am-5.30am :: ouch! :: time to run to the loo! :: bloopbloop! ::

(or more like :: psssssstttpiiiiaaaaaakpooooot :: most of the time...)

Last night, I got rid of a HUGE load of crap. Woke up in the middle of the night with unbearable stomach pains, almost as if I were about to give birth... and what a baby it was! Instead of crying it hissed, instead of being pure and lovable as most babies are, it was dark, lumpy and horrendously stinky. It weighed around 1kg, as evidenced by the before and after weighing sessions, and caused much sleeplessness due to intense pain from contractions. Overnight, I became a mother! And to prove how much I really do hate smelly babies, I flushed it all down the toiletbowl. So much for maternal instinct kicking in as maturity in years sets in. Was it due to food poisoning? Or just the accumulation of an entire week's worth of crap? I cannot be sure about it's father's identity... promiscuity on my part perhaps? But as coincidence would have it, the b. caught the baby fever as well, just that hers was perhaps bigger and had more complications during the inevitably torturous childbirthing process. First mums indeed. What a stomach-churning experience.