sleepless.in.singapore

I don't know why but I cannot seem to fall asleep. Been tossing and turning over and over again on my bed for the last three hours.

*Flip... turn... turn... flip... flip.... flip.... turn.... curl... turn....flip...extend...flip...turn...*

It has come to the point that my head feels sore and my body aches all over. Pretty weird considering that I was feeling sleepy in office the entire day. And I thought I was tired enough to retire early to bed, but apparently not. What in the world is happening? I can only begin to scratch at the tip of the iceberg. A particular tune from Cole Porter's song keeps playing in my mind, amidst all the convoluted wanderings and random thoughts that haunt me and keep me from rest. "From major to minor... from major to minor...from major to minor... from major to minor..." Like shut up already!

Is this the torture that insomniacs undergo every single f**king day of the week?!! What do they do in all this extra time I wonder? Read a book, play a game, watch some crappy late-night soppy tv? Or do they, like me, twiddle their thumbs in the dark while staring at the ceiling, waiting and waiting, waiting for that moment in time when sleep finally overcomes them? All this uncertainty could make wrinkles appear on faces, and perfectly black hair turn a shade of grey. It could cause eyebags to swell and natural kohl circles to form around the eye area. It could, even possibly, be the initiator of madness and senility.

And the latter is what I can literally feel myself slipping into. A deep dark bottomless abyss with slippery sides that offer no grip to the sharpest and most resolute claw. Endlessly falling but nevertheless struggling at the same time. The world around is shrouded in eternal pitch blackness, that grips my heart with fear. Without sight, my hearing sharpens and the slightest noise raises the hair on my neck and sends tiny shivers down my spine. Above all the minute sensory experiences, I acknowledge the sense of acute loneliness seeking to overwhelm my very existence. My head pounds repeatedly.

Give me back my sanity! I'm due at the gym in 5 hours for an early morning weights session. Sigh.