what.is.life?

Life works in strange ways, yuwen said when I broke the news to her. Mrs Creffield (also known to us affectionately as Mrs C in acjc, head of the lit department and formidable independent and intellectual woman, coach of the accolade-winning national debate team, passionate teacher and incredible mentor), lost her husband to a rock-climbing accident on saturday morning. The whole irony of the matter was that they had just managed to return unscathed from phuket where they had been holidaying when the tsunamis struck. Having made it back to Singapore safe and sound, he went for his usual weekend mountain-climbing, and that was when tragedy struck.

As a tribute to Mrs C's fame in the teaching circles, the news of her husband's death was reported in an article in Sunday Times page 3. This death leaves her all alone without any children to depend on when she grows old, without any companionship when her eyesight fails her and her senses start to numb. What is life that it could be so fragile? That one could lose it in an instant just as much as one could gain it? As much as I was never really close to Mrs C, and definitely not close to her heart as wen and the rest of the debaters are, I somehow feel an urge to show her that in her time of personal loss and sorrow, there are people who are willing to sacrifice their time and energy to support her, just as she had done the same for us in our time of need. To our beloved Mrs C, stay strong of mind and calm in spirit, our thoughts are continually with you now.

and.the.room.goes.boom!

Boom Boom Room's closing down! After 15 years of being Singapore's longest running cabaret show (or as kumar puts it succinctly, the ONLY one), the days of feather plumes and glittery opulence has finally come to an end. And what a loss for the next generation of the Singaporean society, for if not for anything else, kumar and his gang have taught us not to take ourselves to seriously, to laugh at our own faults, our government, and our society. This light-hearted take on essentially who Singaporeans are, being deeply-rooted in cultural norms and biases, and continually kept up-to-date on current trends and news headlines, serve to widen our often miopic and narcissistic perspective on life, by showing us that our own flaws (as embodied by the cast of hip-thrusting, breast-pumping cross-dressers) are not the be all and end all to living to the fullest.

While I marvel at their ability to balance and even dance on sky-high wobbly stilettos, and still manage to look the more graceful for it, I also admire their courage to put themselves up on the stage as individuals who demand the understanding of the greater public. It is not easy being in their shoes (both literally and metaphorically), being as different as they are, and having to cope with a lot more prejudices than us 'normal' folks are accustomed to. What is being short, fat an ugly compared to being a person born with the wrong sex organ? And what is earning $1600 a month and an uncertain future compared to the certainty of an unstable job where it will definitely be difficult to make ends meet if there is even a job available?

While jostling with the overwhelming crowd last night, (some of whom had turned up in a show of support for BBR, many others, I suspect, came to gape at the freakshow for the novelty of it), I spotted a friend whom I had not met in over a year. Whilst still in Singapore, she had worked at BBR for awhile, after which she switched to a waitressing job. she was frugal, and worried about how to pay the next electricity bill, all the while hoping that she would somehow get talent-spotted and get a contract to sing for a bar. Such heart-breakingly simple aspirations, but how impossible the odds are against her to succeed. The last I heard of her was that she was in Sydney without a work permit and trying desperately to look for a job to support herself. She had been convinced that Singapore no longer held any opportunity for her, and that she was sick and tired of the societal condemnations that she had to go through since her sex operation 9 years ago. Unfortunately, she had to settle for a waitressing job over there as well.

Looking at her, and talking to her, I cannot help but feel that while that fateful operation took away the one thing that obstructed her from fulfilling her destiny as a woman, it inevitably also left an indelible scar on her self esteem. She, who needs constant reassurance and encouragement, also happens to be one of the sweetest-natured person I have come across in my life. She, who had returned to Singapore some time back for a holiday, decided not to contact me for a short chat over a coffee because she thought I would be busy. I suspect though, that it's more the case of sparing me the embarrassment of having to deal with the constant stares if I'm seen in the company of the likes of her in public. Still, I'm grateful to her for teaching me the importance of accepting people with their flaws and eccentricities, for showing me that ultimately, we as fallible human beings are one and the same. For who are we to judge others when we are just as imperfect and unsightly in the purity of God's eyes? I can only hope for a better life for my friend, and pray that I may have the love and the patience to continue to reach out to her.

my.love.

Caught Aviator today, in a rather excrutiatingly cramped Lido Theatre 4. Poor legs had to settle with minimum space needed to keep blood flowing for a lengthy (and on hindsight, pointless) THREE HOURS. For me, Aviator failed to take off because it's leading man, Mr "Titanic-died-for-a-heavy-cause" Leo Di Cap couldn't convince me of the role he was playing. Such a good actor, especially in the scenes showing his inner torment and madness, but pity about the undermining wrinkle-free boyish face that survived a masive plane crash without so much as a blemish. Someone should ask him if he uses SKII.

Anyway, back to the topic of this post. My Love refers to Jude Law, my latest obsession, the source of my heart palpitations (and he ain't no Apple product), who appeared in Aviator for a total of 3 seconds, but who filled up the big screen fully with his easy grace, his aura, and his greek-god-worthy looks. (Amazing how fast I switch camps from the Pitts to the Laws.) He and Ethan Hawke made Gattaca one of the most swoonsome movies of all time, although I sadly could not recall the title of that movie until bohboh reminded me. He is also the reason why Alfie MUSTMUSTMUST be watched. Hey Jude my love. I shall sleep with sweet dreams tonight. :)

pitch.fever.

Wassup with all the sold out soccer tickets man?!? After the entire wild goose chase on foot (!!!)from Shenton Way to Amara Hotel to Tanjong Pagar Centre to Chinatown Market to People's Park to the sleazysleazy Chinatown Point (yes sernhong made us tackle the horrendously planned internal circulation ALL the way to the top floor in search of the elusive Turf Club Ticket Counter nestled in between dark and ominous-looking foot relexology shops with heavily made-up, scantily-clad middle-aged women guarding the doorways and soliciting business from wizened old greasy bald-heads who can't wait to get their hands on some flesh for carnal pleasure...) and we STILL CANNOT GET TICKETS?!? Even resourceful funky brudder aka cl and menacing bookie kee did not manage to do the impossible.

Gosh.

holl.ee.woot

Have you heard the latest gossip from hollywood? Brad and jan's the latest couple!! w00tw00t! (I SO wish.)

eh.see.jay.see.

Met up with ru and grace (ailing) for lunchie and kopie on New Year's Day. Haven't seen either one of them in almost a year... Although grace's in s'pore, we seldom seem to meet up unless ru's back from new york. Pretty weird, but that's the way things go.

The both of them were my close friends in back during my jc days, having been in the same class and all. Together we've endured small shit's (my form teacher who's indian and really really short and stumpy-looking- hence the nickname) sarcastic nonsense, miss marhaini's (malay econs teacher who used to scare the shitout of all of us) screaming, mr welch's (english litereature teacher who's also english by the way) b-o-r-i-n-g, sleep-inducing, yet oftentimes hilarious comments on chaucer, and harvindar singh's (pe teacher who SO DOES NOT sing(h).) weekly physical torture. (Wassup with all these races man!?!) We've had our good moments and bad in our AH container (air-con classroom due to renovations works.. woohoo!), enjoying the a/c while the rest of the school sweated it out in the sweltering heat, but also suffering from fleabites around our ankles because we happily brought in our plush toys (and left them there forever) into our contained classroom. HAHAHA. Those were really the days. There are lots more stories to tell, but the gist of it all is basically that my jc class comprised of super funky, wacky, intellectual and cool characters, mostly over-achievers in their own right, and grace and ru fit right in. Where does this leave me then, you may ask. Out-of-place definitely, but that's another story to tell.

Anyway, grace and ru are really fun people to hang out with. Anyone who's met them before will tell you exactly the same thing. Between grace's rocket-mouth and rolling eyes, and ru's funky clothes and off-beat whims, there just isn't any place for boredom. Conversations flit from topic to topic, from person to person, from place to place. Which makes it all the more boring when silence occasionally sets in into the conversations, as it normally does in any conversation. We talked about people we haven't seen for ages, people whom were in school, caught up on gossip, caught up on each other's lives, more gossip, mentioned names which would otherwise have been shrouded in dust at the back of our minds (no robbie poo, this does not include you...), and of course, some more gossip. The both of them are doing really well now, and I'm happy for them. Ru's graduated from NYU and is currently writing for New York Magazine; Grace won the prestigious L'Oreal international marketing thingamajig and is currently working at L'Oreal as a marketing executive. Me? Still a lowly intern with a lowly-paid job with an uncertain 2005 ahead and an even more uncertain future. I guess I asked for it, choosing to go the path that I did.

Met up with the both of them again tonight, along with wen the fern (who's graduated for Brown with honours and will be going back to AC to teach soon), and Liz (who's married!!!! and working at mindef and whom I haven't seen since we graduated from jc).Gosh. That's like 6 years already. And almost as if we're trying to make up for lost time, we're planning a class gathering this coming friday, which will probably just be the 5 of us and another additional 3-4 people, as all class gatherings go. I know I've had conversations with kimmie before, ranging from the topics of how we think everyone in our class is so up-there and pretentious, and how we don't like to meet up with them because it's just so trying, but right now, after all these years and after a certain mellowing of thought maturity, I can't help but feel that friendships can (and will) start all over again if you want them to. Hopefully I'll get to make a trip to either Taiwan or Japan with grace and ru this year... and no, I've not forgotten Cambodia, ming, or NY, ern... but oh well. Everything just depends on the timing and of course the available funds. :)

This week's schedule goes:
Monday- gym
Tuesday- dinner with ru, grace, wen and liz
Wednesday- dinner+drinks+velvet(?!?) with vy, qing, jan, grace (low) and other sec sch kakis
Thursday- gym
Friday- dinner with ac classmates
Sat- dinner+drinks with aki people
Sun- mani+pedi with ming and nik? (how abt it ming?!? or sat is fine too I guess.. I can always go shopping on sunday... hee)

What fun! 2005 is starting on a good note. (And I don't mean gym!) Muahahaha. :)

P.S. chinny says elyse has a blog! Go check it out peeps!
http://www.livejournal.com/users/elysesewell/